NTU H3 Contemporary Physics. The worst ever H3 course ever, has ended. YAY! (note the two "ever"s.)
I've suffered much; I've went through lectures to recover hours of sleep, I've been taught somebody's PhD thesis, I've went out of tutorials with nothing gained, I've been through the depths of tunneling, I've seen the potential of a brain cell, I've witnessed a resonated particle, I've been pressured by a beam of light, I've resisted the lure of magnetization, I've oriented my state of spin en pointe.
Passons à l'examen H3.
Prof. AS: Welcome to hell. Prof. WL and I have come to make hell for you in this pathetic lecture theatre in NJC. WL says that all you pathetique people are going to fail. He also told me to tell all of you, "Do you understand?"
Shaun: YES! (enthusiastically)
On the paper, there was printed at the back in big bold letters: Do Not Turn Over The Paper Until You Are Told To Do So. But who cares? I flipped it over anyway. I looked at the questions, horror of horrors. MRI, K+ ion cell potential!!!one1! X.X I saw death in the eye. It stared at me for a long while. I turned away and looked at Shaun on the left. He was petrified, and I knocked him hard, but he remained a stone, a far cry from his enthusiasm just seconds ago.
Prof. AS: You are given 3 hours. You may begin (your journey through hell).
I scanned through the paper. 2nd page: p-n junction for rectification and tunneling diode, JFET. 3rd page: RKKY interactions (huh? what? X.X) 4th page: Energies of particles and bond energies. 5th page: Electron in a nanowire, fabricate it. 6th page: SET.
Me: 3 hours! Are you kidding, Prof. AS?! I looked at the paper and I know that I can't finish all 8 questions in 3 hours! And what the hell is this RKKY?!
Prof. AS: You noob. Choose 2 from the last 3 questions! Anyway 3 hours is nothing. I've seen my average student finishing his honours year paper in 2 hours. RKKY? What the hell is that?
Prof. AS came over to my seat and took my paper to see what is RKKY all about.
Prof. AS: Ah! So it is about the GMR. It won last year's Nobel prize you tard. RKKY? Oh, it's simply one minute part of Prof. WL's PhD thesis. If you don't get it, why are you here?
I thought Prof. WL was merely showing us his amazing 200 page thesis in the lecture theatre the other day. It turned out that he was testing us on it. Me stoned and gave Prof. AS a -.- .
Prof. AS: Well, this is hell. So live with it.
Shaun: Hey Prof. AS, what in the world is this? I've never seen it before. (shouting)
Prof AS walks towards him and takes his paper to examine.
Prof. AS: Of course you've never seen it, because you never asked what in the hell is this.
Shaun thought that it was lame and gaves him a wtf face.
Prof. AS: You are asking me about how to use an electron beam lithography system? I thought that you have used it before, haven't you? You two-time silver medalist at the SSEF who co- invented the gecko tape surely know what is this?
Shaun: Are you trying to mock me?
Prof. AS sniffed at Shaun and walked away briskly.
Finally, I finished my first question. The second one seemed horrible. K+ concentrations inside a cell and outside a cell? Huh? Some weird potential difference? Ah, I can use the Nernst equation, the equation I've never used before in my entire life. What was it again? V= ln(Noutside/Ninside)kT/q. Or was it ln(Ninside/Noutside)? Omg. Disaster. Where is the coin? I need to flip! I grabbed my bag and took out my wallet to take a coin.
Prof. AS: Ah yes, you, the RKKY noob. Cheating huh? There! I see your notes sticking out for your bag. Looking through your notes huh?
Me: No lah. I'm just getting a coin to flip.
Prof. AS: Lies. All lies! There isn't any multiple choice question around here. Don't think I don't know what you are thinking, you cunning noob! Well, this is hell after all, so as your punishment, I shall call a banshee to administer 250 whips on your butt. Muhahaha. You got pwned!
Prof. AS accompanied me the stage of the lecture theatre and called a banshee which wielded a bewildering whip with 9 thorny tails. I almost collapsed at the sight. Then, the first whip came in. I cried in pain. The next 248 whips were exponentially more painful. Before the last whip, the banshee set the whip ablaze, then it came down hard on me. Shards of pain went through my butt, and then it felt as if my butt was on fire. Omg, it was literally on fire! My pants were burning! I dropped on the floor and rolled on my butt and that stopped the fire, but the pain became more excruciating. Prof. AS ordered me back to my seat immediately, but I couldn't even get up from the ground.
Prof. AS: You are really asking for it, aren't you? 250 more whips! Thereafter, a taste of a collision with a proton in my particle accelerator. I've never done that on a person before.
250 more whips came. And then Prof. AS's helicopter transported a huge particle accelerator that came crashing through the roof and onto the stage. It was magnificent, just like an oversized donut.
Prof. AS: Ah, yes, my sychrotron, it's tiny but it packs a heavier punch then the colossal ones you see in Europe. I invite you to step into the ring 1 minute after I've turned it on.
Prof. AS turned the particle accelerator on and the machine purred. After a minute, I mustered all my remaining strength and opened a hatch and stepped into the ring.
What happened after that was history.
Disclaimer: Well, you may choose to believe the above story. Or NOT!
On a serious note of B-flat, I thought that the H3 exam turned out quite ok, because I attempted to study and memorise. For those who did not study properly, hmm... gg.